The stupid shit we do, and the stupid people who talk us into doing it.

"If you keep doing the same thing, you'll keep getting the same result". Probably the smartest thing Anthony Robins ever said! You know Anthony Robins right? The motivation speaker. Well I think an adjustment can be made that makes that statement even more correct.
"If you keep hanging around stupid people, they will just keep talking you into doing stupid shit" There. Now that is much better!
So we used to have a fun little bike ride on Thursday nights here in Austin and everyone looked forward to coming to it. It was about 20 miles long and included some hills, or more precisely, some pretty steep hills. Now when we first started doing the ride everyone just rode together and suffered together and just enjoyed the fellowship of the ride.
Well after awhile some "stupid people" decided that it needed to be a race instead and proceeded to haul ass around the course as fast as they could. Well being the mentally retarded type of people that bike riders are, we all followed along and pretty soon our nice little hill ride was a full on, puke your guts out, hope I don't have a heart attack throw down.
Well this went on for awhile until all the vertically challenged people figured out that unless they stopped eating for a month they were never going to keep up with the anorexic, all lung no brain dip shits that were making there life miserable every Thursday. So the ride fell apart.

Well, now that a few years have passed by it occurred to us that we missed the Thursday Hill ride so we decided to restart it and since we already race on Thursday night, we decided to move it to Tuesday night instead.

Now I consider Jason a friend, you know the kind of friend that you can turn to for support, the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back, well if he had another one to put on anyway. Just an all around good guy. And I have spent many a day riding around town with Jason. You know just talking and exploring new roads that we had not been on before. And I also have eaten dinner with Jason a lot. And when I say a lot I mean that I have lived in Austin for 20 years and I have known Jason for 3 of those years. In the first 17 years I had probably eaten at 25 different restaurants in town. In the 3 years I have known Jason I have probably eaten at 200 restaurants with him. Jason's goal is to eat at every place there is in Austin, and as "stupid" as that sounds, he probably has a better than 75% chance of doing just that. I think he eats out at least 3 times a day, maybe more.
So anyway, Jason in his infinite "stupidity" has decided that we will restart the hill ride and since we have found all these new roads to ride, we will link them into one big loop.
A Super Hill Ride!

Now, me being the good friend that I am, and not wanting to rock the boat as it were, I decided that he had a great idea and went along with his new plan.
"STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES"!
So this last Tuesday we set out on the maiden voyage of the Super Hill Ride.
You know I have often wondered what it was like to be on the Titanic while it was sinking slowly into the deep, dark depths of the Pacific. The freezing cold water sucking the air from your lungs and your muscles convulsing in pain and agony. It must have been horrible!
Well, that sounds like a day at the beach after giving Jason's new Super Hill Ride a go. I mean seriously, what dumb ass would think up this shit! "Well at least we are not racing up these climbs" NO SHIT. Its bad enough that you go out and find a steep hill to climb without finding another one, and then another one, and then another one, one after another with sometimes no rest between them. I swear my heart was beating so loudly, I set off a car alarm when I rode by one. And most of us only did the first half of the ride. Luckily one of the guys that was riding over to join us for the "stupidity" got hit by a car and was delayed, he had to wait to fill out a police report or we might have had enough sunlight to do the whole thing. Thank You Jim for taking one for the group! We all owe you dinner. (Jim was OK, just some minor scratches).
Whats funny is the ring leader, the designer, the architect, the freaking prison warden didn't even do the ride with us. Yep, Jason had to go to his daughters softball game so he skipped our little ride. How convenient!
Now to be fair, Jason did go do the ride earlier in the day, and in fact he did the whole enchilada, the full ride, the big kahuna. What a "stupid" move that was!
I saw him about 20 minutes after he got finished in the parking lot and he looked like shit! Not brown and smelly, but white as a ghost,(and smelly). He was trying to tell me about the ride but with all the drooling and passing out he was doing, it made it hard to understand him. I asked him if he needed anything to eat and he said that he had just had some chicken. I asked "wings or legs?" he said "Whole". If I hadn't seen the bones I wouldn't have believed him.
I tried to get more information about the ride and what we would be facing later in the evening when my little party would be heading out, but he just kept mumbling about how much pain he was in, and if I had the numbers for his next of kin. He seemed to be suffering somewhat, which I though was fitting since he thought up the "stupid" ride anyway. Well he finally figured out how to start his car and headed off to go to his daughters softball game. I think he was OK to drive, although until he was able to just miss the mailbox before getting on the highway I was unsure.I guess the brake and accelerate can be confusing sometimes.
Thank God he wasn't in a Toyota!
I do remember him saying something to the effect of "I am gonna be late for my daughters basketball game, she is pitching for the Yankees tonight". I knew what he meant to say even if he didn't!